1. You still need to tighten up the cuts on the strums during that opening section. In general, there are quite a few edits which are just slightly off the beat at the end as well 2. I think that the narrative should only kick in when the vocals start (your first shot in colour comes in too early). Some of the narrative shots are still held a little long for my taste 3. Some of the miming is a little off (for example, at about 2 mins) 4. Zoe's entrance at 2.07 looks a little odd, like she's waiting for her cue. It might be better if you had a shot of the door opening, a reaction from you, and then Zoe entering (if you have the footage?) 5. There is a slight continuity glitch as Zoe crosses the room; she is looking at you in the LS, but in the following MLS she isn't. Do you have a cutaway you could use to cover this? 6. I'm not sure the muted dialogue at 2.11 works - it looks a little like an out-take
1. You still need to tighten up the cuts on the strums during that opening section. In general, there are quite a few edits which are just slightly off the beat at the end as well
ReplyDelete2. I think that the narrative should only kick in when the vocals start (your first shot in colour comes in too early). Some of the narrative shots are still held a little long for my taste
3. Some of the miming is a little off (for example, at about 2 mins)
4. Zoe's entrance at 2.07 looks a little odd, like she's waiting for her cue. It might be better if you had a shot of the door opening, a reaction from you, and then Zoe entering (if you have the footage?)
5. There is a slight continuity glitch as Zoe crosses the room; she is looking at you in the LS, but in the following MLS she isn't. Do you have a cutaway you could use to cover this?
6. I'm not sure the muted dialogue at 2.11 works - it looks a little like an out-take
I think the colour works well - keep that.