I could do without the adverts at the beginning... not a great incentive for the site you're using over Vimeo... Your master shot is very poorly framed - you've cut off the singer's legs and the angle is slightly skewed. I would have framed this with the wooden beam higher in the shot, to get the full band in. You can also see where you've used a different camera: the quality of the footage is different. Some of the close-ups are okay, but the longer shot brings it down. The miming is slightly out of synch, although this should be solvable. The mise-en-scene is a little odd - why didn't you move the chairs and fully draw the curtains? Similarly, the chair in the reverse angle from the drummer's POV. Was this deliberate? What sort of effect are you going for? I think the lyrics appearing on the flip chart will work, but you should change the font and make sure the titles are angled/ coloured appropriately. Based on this 30s, I would strongly suggest re-shooting the band with a better organisation of space and angle, since otherwise (unless the rest of the footage is a lot better) it's unlikely to get beyond the mid 20s.
I could do without the adverts at the beginning... not a great incentive for the site you're using over Vimeo...
ReplyDeleteYour master shot is very poorly framed - you've cut off the singer's legs and the angle is slightly skewed. I would have framed this with the wooden beam higher in the shot, to get the full band in. You can also see where you've used a different camera: the quality of the footage is different. Some of the close-ups are okay, but the longer shot brings it down. The miming is slightly out of synch, although this should be solvable. The mise-en-scene is a little odd - why didn't you move the chairs and fully draw the curtains? Similarly, the chair in the reverse angle from the drummer's POV. Was this deliberate? What sort of effect are you going for? I think the lyrics appearing on the flip chart will work, but you should change the font and make sure the titles are angled/ coloured appropriately. Based on this 30s, I would strongly suggest re-shooting the band with a better organisation of space and angle, since otherwise (unless the rest of the footage is a lot better) it's unlikely to get beyond the mid 20s.